Dear Child,
The world was in overdrive. We were over-worked and over-played. Both weekends and weekdays were filled to maximum capacity as we struggled to do it all. Being busy had become glorified.
Everyone was tired. But there was no way to stop this crazy ride.
Guilt pushed us to accept every playdate, and to make the most of every weekend. And really, was turning down one social activity so we could stay in and rest really going to save us from the exhaustion we continually felt? Not likely.
We worked the long hours. “It’s only until this project is completed,” we’d say. We accepted every social invitation. “We’re available so we can’t say no,” we’d say. The kids need to experience every activity. “How else will we find their passion and plus childhood is so short anyway,” we’d say.
And then everything stopped.
I remember hearing something about COVID in January. But it was happening in China and I didn’t think it was anything I needed to worry about. Just another scare tactic from the news. But then in March, my boss called me and her other managers into her office.
“We’ll need to work from home for the next three weeks,” she told us. And then right after we went home, the schools closed. And events were all postponed. And Church could no longer open its doors to the public. Everything that could, went online. And the world officially shutdown.
And I felt I could finally take a deep breath.
Now weekends could be spent relaxing at home and playing with the kids, with no guilt of not attending parties or traipsing off to stimulating fun weekend stuff.
I took this breather as the blessing it could be.
A rest.
Now don’t get me wrong. This was still an extremely stressful time for the world. But we were very fortunate. Your dad, Colton and I could still work, so paying the bills was not a problem. And I was working even longer hours, but I was working those hours from the comfort of our home. There was always the possibility of someone bringing the virus into our home from work or even the grocery store, but I just prayed to God that He would keep us safe and help us all get through this.
And then I relaxed and enjoyed the pause.
This was the opportunity to regroup and get stronger, both mentally and physically. This was the chance to evaluate the crazy life we were living and to figure out a plan to do it better. So that when the lockdowns ended, we could live our life the best way for our family, with planning and purpose, and no longer being swept away by the craziness of everyone else’s agendas.
And now, a year and a half later, it feels like we are slowly returning to society. After having spent Grade 1 in the comfort of our home, sitting next to me, day in and day out, you have returned to school in person. And you love it. There were many days, back in Senior Kindergarten, when you did not want to go to school. But now, you appreciate playing with friends again and you are eager to climb the steps of the bus every day.
And I’m enjoying being out again. The dread and guilt are gone, and joy has taken their place. I feel more centered in who I am and in my beliefs. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I still want to accomplish in my life and to create the goals I need to get there.
The world hit pause and I took this as the opportunity it was. A time to re-evaluate. A time to count my blessings. And a time to rest.
And looking back, I’ll be grateful that we spent an entire school year together. Grade 1 was a wonderful year for both Cassie and Colton, as they had fantastic teachers, but your Grade 1 was even more special because we got to do it together. I was able to teach you math, and help you learn to read. I saw your creativity flow as you painted and did crafts. There were definitely struggles as I tried to be a full-time teacher to you, and still attend meetings, manage my team and perform my own work responsibilities. But every day I loved being able to look to my left and see you sitting there. I’m incredibly grateful for that time we had together.
And now we’ll move forward, counting blessings that we previously took for granted, living with more purpose and kindness than ever before.
And I’ll always look back and be grateful that we were able to find joy and peace in this unprecedented time.
Love Mom
xoxo
